


I hate you? I love you?

by AmeliaSPN1973



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Fighting, Not Beta Read, Overview of seasons, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-13 04:46:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19244116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmeliaSPN1973/pseuds/AmeliaSPN1973
Summary: Reader tells the story of how she and Dean got together.





	I hate you? I love you?

 

Man did you hate Dean Winchester.

You have been hunting most of your life. It started when you were not yet out of fourth grade when Changelings infested your city and kidnapped you, killing your parents. You were brave, finding a way out of your restraints and began removing the restraints of the other kids. You were saved by Bobby Singer who faked your death and took you home after he found out you had no family and would be placed into the foster system, much to the chagrin of his partner, Rufus Turner, who thought you would be a burden to Bobby. However, you and Bobby shared a bond from the moment he saved you.

From the time you started living with Bobby, you were also introduced to the Winchester Brothers. John Winchester was on a mission to find the monster that killed his wife and that meant he needed to be in places his two sons, Dean, 4, and Sam, 6 months, shouldn’t be, so Bobby offered to watch them. While you were the oldest, Dean exerted his right to be the leader from the getgo because 1) he was the man of the house and 2) in charge of watching out for his little brother Sam and for all the damsels in distress. While you and Sam got along like siblings, you hated Dean Winchester to your very core for being a bully, chauvinist, and a jerk.

“I’m not a damsel in distress Dean. I’m capable of handling myself.”

He’d then find a way to knock you over, scare you, or attack you when you weren’t looking or most vulnerable; he would then offer his hand for assistance. His response would be “most women are and it’s my job to protect them.” He would then wink. Even when he was young, he was a womanizer.

With age did not come wisdom for either of you. The older you got, the more tumultuous your relationship became. It was borderline volatile at times with Bobby sending you to your room and Dean to the garage to work on a vehicle.

Sam always came to your room and hung out with you, playing games or watching movies.

You were a built in babysitter for the younger Winchester and Sam adored you.

When Sam was thirteen, he developed a crush on you. By then you were twenty two and in college, getting your degree in political science and hoping to go into law school so you could get a government job and use it to help hunters from being arrested. You still lived in North Dakota while the Winchesters were on the road with their father; however, when you came home to Bobby’s on the weekends, sometimes Dean and Sam would be there. Sam would follow you around like a lost puppy. You still hated Dean at twenty-two. He was sixteen; he was getting more attractive; and he thought he was king of the roost. _He’s a full of cock all right; he’s a dick!_ He still treated you like a damsel, even though you could shoot better than him and drive better. You jumped in your older Porsche and dragged raced him on the old back roads, beating him driving one of Bobby’s cars. He always said if he had his dad’s impala, he would kick your ass. While he the Impala was sexy car, your car was smaller and more aerodynamic.

——————————————

You were Thirty-two when Dean at twenty-six and Sam at twenty-four were in a crash that almost killed Dean and they soon lost their dad to a deal with Azazel to keep Dean alive. Dean came back to Bobby’s a broken man. You consoled Sam like a sister would as he cried in your arms. After burying their dad, Dean was in hunt mode, drowning himself in alcohol and hunting.

You were looking outside when you saw Dean taking his frustrations out on his broken Impala, beating the backend with a crowbar until it was bent in and anguish marred his fucking pretty little face. He walked into Bobby’s. You didn’t ask, but grabbed Dean, pulling him into you, and hugged him tightly. His head was nestled between your breasts. At first he tried to squirm out of the hug, but you held onto him for dear life, until he pulled you tighter and began to cry. “I’m so sorry Dean,” you consoled him as you smoothed his hair. His words were unintelligible, as you sat down on the sofa, he moved down and mumbled into your stomach, sobbing.

When the sobbing stopped, he looked at you, leaned in, and kissed you. It was long and needy, his hands caressing everywhere, his tongue pushing through your lips to explore your mouth while your hands just held onto him. When he pulled away, you were in shock, confused, and slightly aroused by the man you hate kissing you like that, more than any other man in your life. You slapped his face and then immediately apologized, knowing, he did it out of grief, you thought. You then vowed to him that you would never tell people how vulnerable he was around you.  At that moment, it felt like it was the first time he was looking at you and it seemed the first time you were really looking at him. You still didn’t like him, but you began to understand him. Shortly after that, Dean was back to his chauvinistic, womanizing, bullying ways with you. You watched Dean flirt yet turn down Jo Harville and then want her again and there was a part of you that was jealous, but didn’t know why.

———————————

You finally became a lawyer and worked as a public defender, using your skills to sometimes get Dean and Sam out of jail, sometimes leaving Dean a few hours linger out of spite and teaching him a lesson. You still lived near Bobby, being the daughter he never had. You were there again for Dean when Sam died at the hands of Jake.

When Bobby thought it was time for Dean to give Sam a hunter’s funeral, Dean refused. You stepped in putting your hand on Dean’s shoulder and he immediately nudged your hand with his cheek, like a dog wanting petted. You smoothed his hair again as he cried to his brother, “what am I supposed to do?”

You jumped in the car with him as he drove to a crossroads to make a deal. You tried to convince him not to not make the deal, pretty much offering anything to get him to not make the deal, but he made it, giving him one year. Sam was brought back to life again and you and Sam were in a race to save Dean’s life.

Then you met Ruby and Bella. Ruby was trying to save Dean’s life, while Bella was after peculiar items and the colt. You were jealous of Bella, especially after the hand of glory incident where Bella wanted to have angry sex with Dean. _If anyone gets to have angry sex with Dean, it should be me. We would take hate fucking to a new level._ Bella stole the colt and went to Hell. Then Dean did go to Hell for four months and then was gripped tight and raised from perdition by the angel, Castiel.

When Dean returned, Dean and Sam started the beginnings of the apocalypse and the sixty-six seals. You met Anna, the fallen angel that Dean fucked in the Impala, the night before getting her grace back. Again, jealousy seemed to raise its head and you wondered why. Maybe it was the way he seemed to drink women in with his eyes and how he will spend extra long with his hands in yours when he’s trying to make a connection. You stood by them when Sam & Dean killed Lillith and unleashed Lucifer. Then the angels tried to recruit Dean to be the archangel Michael’s vessel. You remembered when Dean came to you and said “I don’t want to be that dickbag’s meatsuit.”

“I understand Dean. Don’t give in.” You grabbed his hand and held it, letting him know you supported him.

After they got the four horsemans’ rings, Sam as Lucifer and Michael, in their brother, Adam’s body, jumped into the cage, Dean first came to you before going to Lisa. He stayed the night and fell asleep next to you in your bed. The next morning he was wrapped around you with his head on your stomach. It seemed when he suffered through emotional traumas, you two could were more than friendly to each other, you were everything you both ever needed.

After Sam came back and Dean almost got Lisa and Ben killed and had their minds erased, he came back to the only friend he had besides Sam, you. You were in the background as Dean and Sam fought off Castiel and Crowley when they teamed up and Cas let the Leviathons loose.

———————————

It was then your turn to be consoled by the Winchester brothers when your adoptive father, Bobby was shot by Leviathon, Dick Roman. Both Sam and Dean held your hand at the hospital, while Bobby was in the fight for his existence against a reaper. Dean did the dirty work, fighting with the social workers wanting to harvest Bobby’s organs, since you were presumed dead and Bobby took you in to save you a life of foster parents. Even though he wasn’t the most emotional parent, Bobby loved you more than he would ever let you know. When he called you, Dean, and Sam idjits, he was saying he loved you all. He also told you and Dean to “get along” and figure out what you two have. You looked at Bobby and Dean confused, but Bobby knew. When Bobby died, you felt a piece of you died because he was your only family. Dean took you into his arms, hand to the back of your head as you sobbed into his shirt. He crawled into your bed that night and held you tight all night. At that moment you realized Bobby really wasn’t your only family. Dean, Sam and Cas took you into their lives, making you part of Team Free Will and then moved you into their bunker.

You were a great researcher, like Sam, and were helping Dean keep Sam alive during the trials to shutdown Hell along with your new friend and family, Charlie. During the trials when Sam brought Bobby back from Hell, you were saddened to see him, because you missed your father, but understood as you watched him go to heaven.

After almost being killed by the trials, Sam was possessed by Gadreel at the request of Dean to save his brother. Gadreel was being manipulated by Metatron who killed Kevin, which tore Dean apart. When Dean knocked on your door concerned for his brother and heartbroken over Kevin, you let him share your bed. There was no sex, but he spooned you, which was one of the best sleeps you both had ever had. After saving Sam from Gadreel with the help of Crowley, Dean obtained the Mark of Cain to kill Abaddon. Dean was angered and always wanted to kill while you and Sam were trying to save his humanity. You were the only one that could calm Dean to the point of not killing. You were always able to talk him down from the ledge of his own destruction. When Dean was eventually killed by Metatron, you and Sam weeped together. You felt a loss incomparable to anyone, including Bobby. Something about Dean was ingrained into your heart and soul, like a the enochian spell to keep Dean, Sam, and you cloaked from angels tattooed in your bones. Even though you hated Dean’s attitude all those years, he was still family. Then he woke up a demon and became even more chauvinistic; however, you found him strangely attractive in his brooding/angry ways. On one of your hunts, you walked into your hotel after a long day, finding him lying in your bed.

“Dean! What the fuck are you doing here, and in my bed?” He got up, moving towards you. His eyes turned from the olive green you knew to coal black. As he got closer, you took a step back, and he moved faster, pressing you up against the door; his face was so close to yours. “You know, I could probably bend you over and fuck you at this very moment.”

For some reason, the proximity was heightening your senses. Your breath hitched and you swallowed.

Demon!Dean noticed your arousal and laughed. “Now I wouldn’t mind putting my dick in that pretty little mouth of yours.”

That brought you back. “You asshole. You fail to realize that I never liked you as a human, Dean. I’m not going to change my mind or fuck you because you are a demon.”

He pressed closer, spreading your legs as he moved between them and pressed his clothed cock against you. Your body was betraying you as your arousal was soaking you panties. “Oh you won’t?” He cocked his head at you in curiosity.

You had to admit there was something sexy and scary about him. He then leaned into your neck, smelling your fear and began to grind against you, causing you to be more turned on. He reached around squeezing your buttocks as he nipped your neck. You began to pant and he moved his hand up to knead a breast. You were almost ready to let him fuck you. His erection began to rub your clit with his petulant grinding. You were getting close. “Fuck!” He smiled, realizing your attraction and your closeness to orgasm as he continued grinding. He abruptly stopped, pulled away, looked at you and smiles. “You know what? I’ll find another cunt that’s better.” He pushed you hard out of the doorway, making you fall, and he walked out your door.

“Typical asshole,” You muttered as he left you horny and aroused.

You went to the bathroom splashing cold water on your face to cool off, showered, and dressed up. You went to the hotel bar to try to pick up a guy, only to be disappointed none of them were like Dean and went back to your room.

——————————————

Sam finally cured the demon in Dean, which caused Dean to actually apologize to you. “I’m sorry Y/N. I didn’t mean to treat you so bad.”

“You mean for breaking into my room and trying to fuck me. No! I mean rape, and then just leave me on the floor m. Wow. Dean Winchester apologizes.”

He looked at you seriously. “I am sorry. You’re my family and I was an asshole.”

The look he gave made you actually believe him.

You brushed it off and went on with your lives.

To remove the Mark of Cain from Dean, Dean and Sam killed Death which allowed the Darkness, God’s Sister, to be released. She was attracted to Dean, and you felt twinges of jealousy towards her. You couldn’t understand why. You almost got your soul removed by her to save Dean, but Dean stepped in, placing her focus on him, so you could get away. She didn’t kill him because she was bonded with him. God got involved and after a sibling tiff which almost ended God and the world, but God and Amara went hand in hand to heaven or wherever together.

Amara, who still cared for Dean, gave Dean the one thing his heart desired, his mom back.

You and Mary got along like mother and daughter-in-law. She never told you she thought you and Dean would be a cute couple, but she thought it often.

Then Lucifer was released again. He possessed the President of the United States who fucked his secretary which produced Jack the Nephilim. Jack was a sweet kid, but he was really powerful, enough to cause rifts between worlds. When Jack was born, Mary got trapped in an alternate universe with Lucifer causing Dean and Sam to assume she was dead.

Dean and Sam were heartbroken.

———————————-

When they got back to the bunker, you hugged Sam and Dean together.

That night you heard the knocking at your room door. “Hey Y/N, May I come in?” It was Dean.

“OK.” You put your book down.

He walked in and sat on your bed. He looked worn.

“You OK Dean.”

“No. I’m really not. I’m just tired of all losing all my loved ones. I’m done.”

“I’m sorry Dean. You still have Sam.

“And you.”

“Huh?”

“You’re family and I don’t want to lose either you or Sam.”

You heard his pain and didn’t know what to do. You grabbed him and pulled him into a long hug. Like the time he lost his Dad, Dean laid his head on your lap and sobbed into your abdomen for fifteen minutes, wrapping his arms around your waist. When the sobs stopped, Dean pulled away from you and stared at you. You noticed his beautiful olive green eyes and eyelashes that rivaled the best mascara; how his face was perfectly symmetrical including the freckles on his beautiful face; his perfect nose; and those lips, those plump perfect male model lips. At that moment is when those lips moved in and pressed to yours. It was brooding and angst ridden as he began tugging on your bottom lip, biting and grazing his teeth across. You kissed back, chewing his bottom lip like gum. It was some of the most erotic kissing you had ever done.

You finally pulled gasping for air. “Dean, are you OK?”

“Want you,” was all he said. All this time hating on each other and he wanted you. You weren’t sure what to think. He crashed his mouth to yours again as his hands began caressing up and down your torso.  

His touch was sensual as he ran his hands over your curves. You sighed. All these years hearing him talk about his conquests and seeing him with them and now your one of them, and it felt so fucking good. “Dean,” you moaned as your hands reached up around his neck as your fingers twisted around his short hairs.

Your kisses became more needy as he leaned you back on your bed and his hands began pulling down your pants.

“I think we should talk about this Dean. You’re grieving and I’m just another warm body.  We don’t want to do anything rash.”

He pulled away and stared at you, his beautiful olive green eyes pierced yours. “You’re absolutely wrong Y/N. Yes, I admit it am in grieving, but life is too short, yet I’ve been waiting too damn long to admit I love you. I want to do something rash. I want to be rash with you.”

His mouth engulf yours again as his fingers slip under your panties to your folds. You moan, feeling him circling over your clit. _Damn! He’s good._

Your mind was lost in the feeling and couldn’t think straight. He continued rubbing your clit, your stomach contracting as you felt yourself getting closer to orgasm. You grabbed his biceps. “Fuck me Dean.”

His fingers move away from your now slick entrance and you actually whimpered at the lost of contact.

Dean smiled moving his hands up to the waistband of your panties. He looks at you for permission and you nod and he pulled them down and off. Before you could think clearly again, his mouth was between your legs and his tongue was licking up your slit.

“Wait… Wow.” Dean raised his head up looking at you.

Your mind was fuzzy, the intense feelings he was giving you were overwhelming. Finally, you looked down at him. “Nevermind.”

His laughed, leaning back in, his tongue went faster as you laid back on your bed, arms above your head and he was tongue fucking your entrance, rubbing his thumb against your sensitive nub. You moan again.

“You taste amazing Y/N. We should have done this years ago.”

You moan again. “Jesus Dean. You are really good at this. Fuck! I never took you to be a giver. Did your dad teach you that?” As soon as you said it, you felt guilty. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

Dean looked up at you. “Actually. He said that while it’s great to receive, sometimes it’s better to give.” He winked and sank back between your legs sucking the nub hard. At that moment, your orgasm hit as you came hard on his face.

“Oh Fuck. Yes. Oh God. Jesus. Yes Dean. Yes. Yes. Dean!!!! Fuck! That was amazing.”

“I’m glad.” He smiled kissing back up to your face and kissed you passionately as he began pulling off your shirt and then undid your bra. You begin peeling off his sweaty T-shirt and undoing his jeans, pushing them down. He moved between your legs as he looks down at you. “I just want to be in you, feel you right now.”

You look up at him. Whether this was guilt sex or whatever, you didn’t want to say no. You wrapped your legs around his waist, giving him the go ahead as he thrusted into you and gave you time to adjust.

His thrusts started slow and deep as he took you in with each thrust; your body overstimulated by the orgasm, he found your g-Spot immediately. You continued bucking to him as your pace became him pounding into you, the sound of slapping flesh, grunts and moans along with the smell of sex in the air. He let you come first again and then pounded into you until his hit. Collapsing against you, he smiled. “That was awesome. I’m such an ass to wait this long with you.”

“Why have you been such an ass to me Dean all these years?”

He looked into your eyes. “Because I liked you, from the first time I met you. I didn’t want to, so I tried everything to make you hate me, but I kept egging it on to get a reaction from you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

You laughed. “So, both handsome Winchester Brothers had crushes on me.”

“You think I’m handsome?” Dean looked at me mischievously.

“I think you’re smoking hot, but you also know you are.”

He laughed. He leaned in and kissed you tenderly. You wrapped your legs around his waist.

“Again?” He smiled.

“Holy Fuck Yes!”

You roll him to his back, straddling his waist as you kiss down his toned chest, running your hands down his biceps as your lips caressed his torso. Moving down, your lips pepper his treasure trail and your tongue licks up the main vein.

His breath hitches as you swirl your tongue around the tip, licking the precum.

“Oh Fuck Y/N. You definitely know what you’re doing.”

“I am older and have more experience than you.” You scoff taking him inch by perfect inch into your mouth and suck.

“Fuck.” You feel him pulsing in your mouth.  You release his erection with a pop and pull away a second, looking up at him. “I think I’m going to like loving to hate you.”

He laughed “Me too.”

You returned to engulf his erection again, taking him in and continued until he came.

——————————————-

Sam went to Dean’s room the next morning only to see his unmade bed.

You and Dean just woke up. “Hey Beautiful.” Dean smiled as he rolled to his side and rested his head on his arm.

“Hey.” You smiled back, turning towards him as he moved in and kissed you tenderly. “How did you sleep?”

He looked at you seriously. “Being here, with you last night is the best sleep that I’ve had in a long time, when we actually slept.”

“Same here,” you said as he rolled you to your back and kissed you passionately. His hands began to roam across your body as he ended up settling one hand on a breast, the other to hold himself up as he hovered over you, and you continued to kiss.

Dean grunted between kisses.”Damn! I was so stupid not to see you and all your amazingness all these years ago.”

“Mmmm… We were both not so smart Dean, but we always had each other’s back like a family.” Your eyes were glistening. Sam and Dean were your only family. While you kind of started out hating each other, or so you thought, you always had a connection.

“I love you Y/N.”

Your eyes became misty. “I love you too.”

Your kisses became more urgent as his lips began caressing your neck, around your sensitive breasts, and down your naked torso as he moved towards your damp core...

Dean was eating you out as you writhed in ecstasy when you heard knocking at your door. You were about to moan loudly, as Dean licked your slit when from the other side of the door you here, “Hey Y/N. Can I come in?”

You look down as Dean looks up at you. He places his finger to his slick face. “Shhhh.”

He planned on telling Sam about you two, but wanted to tell him before he found out this way.

You had to think of something. “I’m sorry Sam. I’m not feeling well this morning. I just need rest. What do you need?” You were out of breath.

“You sure you OK, Y/N?”

Dean’s tongue was in your entrance as his thumb circled your clit. “Yeah. I’m fine Sam,” you said as you were feeling like you were about to come.

“Have you seen Dean? His bed is still made and the car is in the garage.”

Dean looked up again. “Have you checked all the rooms?”

“Yes I have Y/N.”

“Maybe he walked to the bar last night.”

“That doesn’t seem like him.”

“Sam, I’ll tell him if I see him you are looking for him.”

“You sure you are OK? You seem…. preoccupied.”

“I just had a rough night. I’m fine.”

Dean chuckled, holding his mouth because he didn’t want Sam to hear.

“OK Y/N. Get some rest.”

“OK Sam. Thanks.” Dean licked up your slit and you covered your mouth to prevent a moan.

“You’re a pretty good liar,” he said pumping two fingers in you.

You bit your hand as you came hard.

Dean kissed back up your body as he thrusted into you…

——————————————

Two hours later, you peeked out your door to make sure the coast was clear, so Dean could go back to his room.

“Coast is clear.” You smiled.

Dean leaned in and kissed you one more time. “Later?”

“Sure.”

Dean walked out of your room. Just then, Sam rounded the corner. “Dean. Why are you coming out of Y/N’s room!”

“The jig is up man,” Dean sighed as he grabbed your hand and pulled you out of your room with just his shirt on and nothing else. “Y/N and I slept together last night. We’re going to keep seeing each other.”

Sam just laughed. “So, you were in there all night.”

Dean smiled. “Yep.”

You blushed.

“And you didn’t tell me,” Sam feigned anger.

“No.” You were embarrassed.

“I guess I can finally understand why you seemed preoccupied.” Sam kept laughing.

Dean winked at you and smiled.

Sam continued laughing and said, “Finally. After all these years, you finally both decided to get up the courage.”

Dean smiled as you continued blushing.

“Don’t go run to your room on my account,” Sam laughed. “I just wanted to make sure you were OK.”

Dean moves back over to you, grabbing your waist. “I am more than OK Sammy. So, if you don’t mind, I’m just going to go fuck my beautiful girlfriend some more.” He grabbed you, tossing you over his shoulder and rubbing your ass. “See you later Sammy,” as he carried you towards the showers.

You and Dean’s relationship blossomed until you were married three months later and a baby on the way.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Kudos and comments appreciated. 
> 
> Please do not post or submit this work to any other forum without permission of the author.


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